The Drama Queen.

Whoa. It's been a long time since I visited this account. I'm pretty numb today. I can't barely focus on what I have to do so I've decided to spill all of my thoughts here -- since I can't post an entry on my multiply or friendster. Ok, here it goes.

I have decided to give up on this guy named Redenn. I have this long-kept feelings for him. He inspired me in ways he never see and I admit, he sure as hell did really make me happy. But, of course, people get tired. I get tired. I am tired painting my sky with stars. I am tired hoping that he'll laid his eyes on me. I am tired of hoping he'll have feelings for me. I am tired saving his not-so-long and he-really-didnt-want-to-text-me messages. I am tired of getting pictures from his multiply account and putting it on my cellphone. I am tired hoping he'd greet me first early in the morning. I am tired asking about him on her sister every other day. I am tired crying unexpectedly in the middle of the night because of him. I am tired hiding these feelings I have for him.

I AM TIRED!

Recently, I was thinking of pursuing these feelings -- I mean, not giving up until the day he'd realized we're perfect for each other. BUT! ... *deep sigh*

I read his bulletin post this afternoon. And hell, it hurts. It still hurts. I have read that he and his ex-girlfriend are mending things -- you know, if-ever-you're-in-my-arms-again kind of drama. The moment I read that, i was like... "Whoa. Ansaket ah." (Whoa, it hurts!)
I know I am just overreacting and I really don't have to give a damn about that but!! ... the pain is real. :( I know nobody will definitely understand whatever I am going through... it's just.. Gosh! It sores like hell! *cries*

Then, after reading that.. It dawned on me that I have to give up. My friends are really tired listening to me; of course, the story's getting old. They all told me that i have to give up. I deserve someone who's much better. It's like.. I don't deserve Red. He don't deserve me. We don't deserve each other. *fake laugh*

So, from this day forward, I will try to forget these feelings I have for him. I will try not to think of him. after all, I must.

Redenn will surely won't be able to read this. But if one day he does... Redenn, if only you knew how much I have loved you. If only you knew how much you mean to me. *sigh* I know I will regret this. I mean, me not telling you how I feel... but it's kind of hard. I just can't tell you what I feel. our friendship matters more than anything so I might as well not risk it. After all, you wouldn't care if I tell you anyway. So I guess, this is goodbye.

THIS IS SO HARD.

Taena. I am full of fucking rage talaga ngayon! Baket? Taena, cnong di maaasar sa ginawa ng isa jan sken!? Cnu pah? C 4-letter word. Taena nia xe,. Ganto un. Andito ako ngayon sa computer shop ni Kuya Richard, a friend of mine who's also a friend of his. Tapos nung nakaupo na'ko, xa aman, biglang nag'out. Nagtaka ung mga taga'shop kung bakit nag'out nxa agad. Everybody knows nah he's into me daw. WHICH IS NOT FUCKING TRUE NAH. Ang nakakainis lang dun, masyado niyang pinamukha sken ung pag'iwas niya.

Teka, absorb ko lang.

Siya pah ung may ganang umiwas ngayon!? Is that so0? Putang ina niya. Isang malutong nah putang ina niya pah! *growl* Nakakainis kaya. Dude, naiiyak ako. Naiiyak ako right at this very momnet. I just wanna break down and cry. *singsong* Nope, seriously, gusto ko talaga umiyak. Grabe kasi xa magpamukha eh. Parang ala nangyare. Parang he was never been so0 sweet to me before. Un ung nakakainis eh. After all of the sweet nothings, we ended up as if we were never been together for once. I mean, taena, why on earth he would do something like that to me?

Rebound.


Nakakainis xa sobra. Naiiyak na ko talaga super....

Mr. FRC,
      Alam mu, epal kah eh. Sobra. I just wanna break you down sooo badly! Nakakainis kah. After mu iparamdam sken nah kesyo mahalaga ako sayo, kesyo 'mahal' mu na ko. badtrip kah eh. Super badtrip. Anu ngayon? Naguguluhan kah xe dmu alam gagwin mu sa ex mu? Ex mu nah alam ku aman nah kahit anong sabihen mu, mahal nah mahal mu pa ren! Gawd. Two years and six months lang naman kayo, dude. Then, ala pang three months, heto kah at pumoporma sken? Anu gusto mu isipin ko, na naka'get over kna sa dreaded lovestory mo? Sino niloko mo, ako? Dude, I've been fucking there. Alam ku ung feeling ng ganyan. Kaya naiintindihan kita. Eh ako, naiinitindihan mo ba kung baket ganto ko?

Kasi dko matanggap nah I'm starting to care for you and yet you are obviously paying no mind in what I truly feel.

Nakakainis kah. Nakakaiyak. Nakakagago. Pagkatapos mu talaga ipadama sken nah... arrgh. Leche kah. tapos ano ngayon? Text kita pag kailangan kita? Dati aman di kita kailangan eh. Hai. Pero ok lang. Pasalamat kah, dpa ko fallen. Kaya ku pah pigilan. Kaya ko. Sana.

>>Arrgh. Nakakainis. Gusto ko sumigaw. Sino meh alam nah magandang way para makapaglabas ng sama ng loob? Badtrip, dude. Badtrip.

Kelangan ko lang talaga maglabas ng sama ng loob. Kaya sa makakabasa neto. You will see how emotera I am. Pasensya na kayo dahil kelangan talaga tagalog. Ok game. Ehem ehem.

Hai tang*n*.. Di ko alam baket inis nah inis talaga ko. Grr.. Sino ba naman ang di maiinis, anu ang gagawin mu pag nagsinungaling sayo ung isang tao nah malapet seo? I mean, oo ala akong karapatan mainis at pakelaman xa sa mga ginagawa nia. And I'm freakin' angry about it. Baket kelangan nia pah magsinungaling sken?! Fuck.

Nakakainis.

Tapos ngayon, parang ang colc'cold nia sken. Anu bah nagawa ko!? Ampf.  Sana naman he'd consider things for me. Nakakainis xe eh. I'm starting to care for him so much and yet he is obviously paying no mind about it. Damn it. Nakakainis. Alam ko nanliligaw pa lang xa. Kaya lang, gusto ko lang naman maging open xa sken eh. Bakit kelangan niya pahmaglihim!?

Kung ikaw tatanungin ko, anu ang mararamdaman mo pag ung taong akala mu very open sayo eh bigla nagsinungaling sayo? Ang siste, nahuli mo pa? What would you fucking feel about that? Ang masaket pa, meh filings na ako 4 him. Fuck him. Nakakainis talaga. 

At ano ko? Just his rebound? Taenang rebound yan. Leche talaga. Super leche. Define leche. Arrgh.

Geh, un lang muna sa ngayon. Kind of relieved sa paglabas ng sama ng loob. And by the way. I'm talking about Mr. Frank Rupert Catapang. Hahahah! Another suitor. Aun.. Di nah xe ko nakakapag'update lately kaya mejo nahuhuli kayo sa balita. Senxa nah mga dudes. Bawi nlang ako.

Badtrip talaga. Comments!!

whew. Kainitan. Well, summer nah. Obviously. Anu bah bago? Actually, madame. But most importantly, meh lablayp nnman ako. Hell, after 11 sodding months, naka'recover nah talaga ko. Fully recovered. Sino ang salarin? 
Sisihin mo c Mr. Jean Patrick Marquez. Siya ang dahilan kung baket ako may ina'update ngayon.

Sigh. I don't know but I'm still confused. (Kelan ba q hindi naging confused?) Textmates kasi kame. I know you'd find it very not-so-me, pero ewan. I think I'm falling for him. Gawd. Andame'dame nia nah napatunayan sken. Sa loob ng three months, andame nah talaga. di ko makakalimutan eh nung inaatake ako ng ulcer. He stayed up late [4am to be exact] para lang damayan ako. To think nah meh pasok xa ng 9am in the morning.

Hell yeah.

Kahit ung ex ko, di un nagawa sken kahit kelan! 3 tyms nia nah ginawa un. Isn't he sweet? Wala lang.
It was so0 unusual, dude. Di ko pah nga lang xa nam'meet. Magkikita palang kme. Ang tanong ko lang ngayon:

Is it possible nah magmahal ka ng isang tao through text? I mean, the feeling of being so excited whenever he texted me is still new.. I mean, grabe. Masaya ko everytime nah magttxt xa. Everytime nah ipapadama nia sken nah i'm very very special for him. Natupad na nga ung sign na hinihingi ko eh. Xe nga, we act as if "kame" nah talaga. Cnsabihan nia nah q ng iloveyou ganyan.. ganun din ako sa kanya. Eh one tym, unexpectedly, cnabhan nia ko ng, "mahal na mahal na talaga kita nikki."

Gawd. Pwede ba tumambling?

Un kasi ung sign nah hinihingi ko. Walang pwedeng ibang makapagsabe sken non. Once nah cnabe nia un, parang un ung basehan ko nah he's really serious. Ang hirap explain. Sana you won't judge me or being so mababaw. Basta. Kakaiba. I haven't been this way for like ages. Then came my prince.. Btw, prinsesa tawag nia sken. Heheheh.. Pero ang tawagan talaga namen eh "mahal". O db? KewL.^_^

Hai.. Nakaka'tambling talaga. Anyone who cares for me? Comment please.

punyetah. badtrip aman dude. wala akong mkita sa ym ko. pag mag'ttype ako, wala. as in plain lang. takte. kaabnormalan. hmpf! nge0n nah nga lang let ako nakapag'OL.. hmpf. kaimbyerna. sarap tumambling dito sa comp shop.

nweiz, ganda ng intro db? ztah aman? namiz ko talaga mag'update dito. btw, official nah ang end ng 1st year ko. at ang masasabe ko? Ang sarap tumambling. Grabe. Mamimiss ko lahat ng blockmates ko. Takte talaga. Sa buong 1st year, section namen ang pinak'close talaga. Unbelievable? Nako0. Totoo, neng. Para xe kaming hayskuL.. 

Namiz ko tuloy diamond.

Aun.. un muna dude. Nikka, taenang ym. Pasenxa kna huh. Ztah kna idol?

                
       russell. yan c lablayp. ung asa left. meh dimple.

heya! It's been quite a long time for me since I last updated. sorry for that.

Grabe. Dame ko kwento. Firstly, I've passed the majorship examination for BS Psychology. Grabe. Sobrang happy ko talaga! *giggles* Kanina ko lang nalaman! Grabe. Interview naman ang kinatatakutan ko. Whew. Wish me luck!


Then, anu pa ba? Meh boilet ako. KELAN PA KO NATUTO ABOUT THAT!?

deh.. d aman boilet ever. Kras ko lang.. C Francis. Kuya Francis. He's 21. Yeah, 21 years old. Pero mind you guys, he looks like as if he's just freaking 18 years old. Kala ko nga nung una, 18 lang xa eh.. un pala 21 nah! I'm shocked. Really. Super kras ko xe xa. Lage xa bumibili sa tindahan nila kuya tan. Ayun.. Tas nung nakatext ko xa, yun nah! Friends na kme! *smiles* Ewan. Para kong tanga nga eh. I'm staying for like hours and hours sa tindahan just to make sure I will see him. Tas nanginginig nko pag anjan nxa. Ung tipong kakabahan? un. Lage ko xa hinahanap. whEw.

Para kong tanga.

Kea lang, meh girlfriend nxa, dude. 2 years and 9 months. Pero jus koh noh! Never akong aasa na magkakaron ng something between us. I've got my reasons: 

1. He's 21. I'm just turning 17. Age gap. Kind of awkward.
2. He has a girlfriend. God knows how mush he loves her girl.
3. Ayoko magalet sken c Kuya Tan. Xempre mapapansin nila un pag nagkaron ng something between us. Jus k0h noh! Sa tindahan lang c kuya! And he's too damn conservative lalo nah pag ako neong pinag'uusapan. 
4. Imposible na mapansin nia ko.
5. Basta d talaga ko umaasa.

Yun. Parang, xa, ang "role" nia ngeon eh parang inspiration ko? Ewan. Basta I'm happy. At least dko nah naiisip c Gerard. Basta wag niu muna ko i'judge agad. Ayoko makarinig ng "God, Nicole. He's 21..." I hate that. Pero if you feel like saying it, go ahead. Bala ka. Basta for now, I really know that I'm satisfied sa mga nangyayare.

Masasabi ko na, finally, my progress na ang moving on perspective ko. 

whew!.. grabe., nakakapagod SOBRA. Feeling ko anytime mag'cocolaPz nQ.. Panu ba amaN? 2weeks nah kmeng nagpa'praktiz for SCUAA Sportsfest. Sasayaw lang aman ako. I mean, I'm one of the performers.. At take note, sa field pah kme sasayaw. Take note ulet, since inter'schools event ang SCUAA, marame pupunta. TUP, PUP, PHILSCA, EARIST, MPC ang mga schools nah pupunta. Which only means nah madame talaga audience.

kamusta naman davah!?

gudlak talaga sken.. Grabe patayan talaga rehearsal. Host  xe PNU kea mega preparation ever talaga. Ung school nga, akala mu meh darating nah taga-ibang'bansa.. heHeh., pintura ever. haHah ansaMa k0h., pero wag ke0 alAla.. aYlabyUh PNU akO..^-^

Nga pala, Nakapag-exam nko for my majorship. Psychology. waAaahh. Grabe kinakabahan talaga ako. Sobra! Sana maipasa ko. I really really hope so. Un neong 1st choice koh, disregarding Biology.. *headdesk* aja lang.

Sigh. Yun lang muna. Grabe pagod ko.

garsh. it's been quite awhile bago ko nakapag'update. everyday i was like "shet.wala nnmang livejournal." wan ko ba. ang hirap pumasok sa lj few days ago. Anyways, I'm dying to update this one.

*****
05 January

Nakasabay ko c Patrick umuwi. *LOL* Wala lang.. I texted him "Pat, pasabay nman muwe. wala ko kasabay eh". Ayun. Pumayag nman. Ang pinaka'dko makakalimutantalaga eh nung andon nah kme sa sakayan sa meh quiapo. Wala akong makitang jeep ng balic-balic. Eh xa meh nkita. sbe nia "Aun nikki oh.. tara dali.." tas mea'mea, bigla nia kinuha kamay ko.. hinawakan nia. In other words, holding hands kme. Ayoko pah nga hawakan kea lang.. naka... uh..anu ba panu ko idedescribe? parang kinukuha nia nah kamay ko eh.. talaga aun. holding hands kme gang sa pagsakay ng jeep. inalalayannia pko. tas eto pah. since wala pang nakasakay msyado sa jeep, sabe nia dun nlang kame sa harap. sa tabe ng driver. Shet. Moment toh. Im so close to him. sobra. Yan talaga naisip ko. Tas putek talaga. nung nakita ko ung upuan, sabe ko "Kasya ba tau jan,Patrick?!?" Talagang nagulat ako. Ang liit lang nung upuan. Pero d sobrang liit. Pero, gud for 1 person lang talaga. Pero aun. nagkasya kme ni Pat. WaheHehe.. wala lang. Grabe pinagpawisan talaga ko. Aside from the fact nah sobrang init talaga, I've neverbeen so close tohim like that. God. His shoulders brushed with mine. My hands were just centimeters away from his. Basta. Lovestruck ako.

Love nga ba talaga?

hahaha. wala lang. Im so0 happy until now. I just cant get it out of my mind. He leave me breathless...

******

06 January

Kasamako nnman tropa nila. C soulmate [arjean], stephen, campy and Patrick. Wala lang. Tambay lang kame kela Patrick. Sinundo kasi ako ni Stephen and Campy. 6pm non. Kmusta nman db? I left my homework and without hesitation, I joined them. Dq alam nah kela Patrick kami pupunta non. i just hoped. Aun.. wawa nga xa eh. Sinisipon. I know what it feels like. Nahihirapan ako para sa kanya. Pero happy ako kasi ngaun, God. Kinakausap nia nko talaga. inaasar nah nga koh ni gagu. I feel more at eased now with him. Atleast db? wala lang. I'm just happy bout that.

[btw, have i mentioned here that Bituin broke up with him last November 30? wala lang. i'm not happy bout it. I was even surprised.]

******

Aun.. hai.. Nowadays, my mind's wandering and been thinking bout him. I dunno. Basta. un. Sorry prenships. Ang gulo ng buhay ko. Total mess. But I'm happy, though. Very very happy for now.  *smiles*




Idol Nikka, thanks for being so patient. I really feel that you do care for me. And I'm very happy about that. Love you!

happy new year!^_^ Kamusta naman ang new year niu? Ako? uh.. yeah masaya pero basag ako nun new year eh.. lalo nah nung 31 December. Kasama ko xa eh. I dunno what happened pero nagpunta ko sa kanila. As I've said, pinuntahan ko talaga xa. Ayun.. ok naman xa. And God. I can say that i missed him so much. Ung smile nia, the way he acts, the way he moves... Basta lahat. 

Pero eto ang siste, andun ung kirida nia. Taena. Akala ko asa impyerno este sa Quezon, un pala andun! The moment I saw her, God. I wanted to slap her face. I wanted to tell her that she's a whore. How i hate her!

Pero ok lang, atleast d xa tanga at alam nia ang ibig sabihen ng distance. Mega iwas talaga xa. D nga cla nag'uusap eh. Although pagdating ko, kita ko cla nag'uusap. Nung nakita nia ko, pasok xa agad salungga nia. Leche wala akong pake sa kanya! Aun.. Ok naman. Parang walang nangyare. Mega tawanan kame. As if he did not betrayed me. As if we were like just before.

Sigh.

Pero eto malupet. Bago ko umue, he embraced me. God. That really brought me down to the edge. Nung una nga, hyper pa ko nakikipagharutan sa mga pamangkin nia. Pero after nia ko akapin, boom. natahimik talaga ko. Bute na lang, I'm on my way home nah nung mga oras na un.

Pagkasakay ko ng tricycle, umiyak talaga ko. Naluha I should say. Cnu ba nman ang d maluluha don?!

Aun.. pagdating ko ng bahay, I cried my eyes out. Mega iyak talaga ko. Grabe. Bute na lang anjan c soulmate para makinig sa isang bata na iyak ng iyak na kala mu inagawan ng madaming candy. God. Para kong tanga talaga.

I hope I'd be able to get over... I'm really hoping for the time where I can no longer think about him for every sodding minutes of my life. I hope I'm no longer inlove with him. I hope I could forgive her kirida [for my own good.]. I really hope I can move on totally and start things anew. I hope he will stop saying that he loves me. [ tinetext nia xe ko ng iloveyou.]


Sigh.

God. I did something.. hilarious. Pano ba nman xe, d ako mapakali. I texted my beloved fucking ex. He asked me out xe. Nuod daw sine. Blah blah blah. Then, kanina, tnxt koh xa para i'confirm kung tuloy pah.. wala lang. Wala magawa. I'm bored. Then later on, we're talking  nah. naka'sun xe xa. ginamit koh sun ni siz.. [btw, I'm currently with her.] aun.. kamustahan. the usual hi-hello-how-are-you. He's mocking me. I didn't showed up last christmas. His mom pleaded me to come to their house. I mean, duh, I can't refuse to say  yes.. Tita is tita. I loved her. Very much.

Di nia kasalanan ang kashetang ginawa ng anak nia sken. She don't even have any idea about it anyway.

Then, aun nga. We've talked for about... 23 minutes!? I guess. He even asked me to come again. This time, new year naman. He's absurd. Palibhasa wala ung kirida nia. 

Nasa impyerno.

LOL.:D Deh, nasa Quezon daw. Ang inisip ko, panakip-butas na naman ako. Pero geh, ok lang. I'm doing this para makaganti sa kashetan nia. Eh di ngayon nararamdaman nia ung feeling ng nag'iisa? Pakyu xa. Yaan niu mga prens, I'm okay. I can manage. D na ko basta'basta magpapadala sa kashetan nia. Ugali nia.

Can you curse him for me? That would be much appreciated. Love you guys!

happy xmas!

first up, xmas break nah!!^_^ I'm so0 happy that I'm gonna able to rest now. total rest. 2nd sem was so awful. And life at PNU? God. Mind-cracking. I mean, hassle talaga! But classes will resume on 2nd of January. Isn't that great? Arggh.

wUi mga prenships kOh i have a very good news.

I've talked to my beloved fucking ex. I mean, we talked. He insisted for that. He was like, "Nikki, can we talked?" Something like that.. Then, we talked. As usual, they have a problem. Blah blah blah. Pero sa pag'uusap nmeng un, basag talaga ko. Lalo nah sa cnbe nia, "Cnbe koh xe sknya nah never nqng makikipag'break eh.."

Basag. Crack. Basag. Crack. 

kea ngeon. I'm very very sure nah talaga. Go for the gold. Move on. Promise. He's so yesterday. Do you know Hilary's So yesterday? I love that. [even though i hate hilary]

At last, peace of mind, dude.

Special thanks to idol nikka delicatinelity for being so patient listening to my rantings, for being always there to give me her advices.. i love you, nikka! Also to atesiz [ i forgot her username] and boleed  bowleed_beware for, also, giving their advices. You helped me a lot, guys! I love you both!

*sigh*

A new day is yet to come.

God. I miss him so much. 

I really wanted him to treat me just like before. As if nothing happens. As if i didn't told him my feelings. As if I'm just his ordinary friend. I wanted that. Sana bumalik nah talaga ung date. Fuck xe eh.

***

tnxt ko xa kahpon. I greeted him "happy 3rd aniv senyO ni bit huh?"..

+kaplastikan. kashetan. kagaguhan. startalk+

(senxa nah sa bad words.)

hai.. Bket ganon? Once nah nasabe mu sa 1 tao nah mahal mu xa, bigla nlang xa magbabago?


 Why does it have to be in this way?

wahAhah.. at last! nagkaron den ako ng chance makapag'oL.. kala koh dna eh! i misho0 guys! 
[duh. as if andame mu kaibigan sa lj]

anu bah mga nangyare?

03 December.
I'm with Patrick's group. Stephen invited me to join them, I found no reason not to so I did.. Gosh. I was hell tired. From 3pm up to 9am we were walking. No definite destination. We just walked and walked and walked. Eventhough that's the case, yeah I'm tired.. but Patrick being around? Gosh. He's super.

But of course, I was so0 sad coz of, as usual, Patrick. My bestfriend Liah also was with us. She also noticed the 'distance' between us- me and Patrick. She was like, "Bhest, bat gan0n? Meh prob ba ke0?" And I was like "Alam nia nah xe ung feelings ko for him, bhest. Kea etO.. distanxa ever ako. Eh ganun din nman xa eh.." *sigh* see? hown i wished Patrick will not treat me like that na.. 

Pero xempre, mei kilig moments.. para sken. heHeh.. Magkatabi xe kme ni Pat non.. Eh kinabit sa kanya ni beMbem ung necklace.. Ayaw nia ata isuot. Ganto seating position nmen.

me    patrick   liah                       stephen   jayson

yan..tas maya'maya sabe nia. "Nikki, pakitanggal nman toh oh.." [pertaining to the necklace]
God. Grabe. I was just inches away from him.. His scent.. His body.. God. Grabe! I wanted to hug him! really, dude. Pwede nmang c liah magtanggal non db? Tas nag'iiwasan pah kme..

Mei point ako db?=)

Tas lam mu un.. He tried for a conversation. But i refused. Tanga ko talaga! I dunno what happened. Ewan ko kung baket. Basta. The moment nah asa bahay nko. I was like, "shet! bat iniwasan ko?"


*********************

knina, I'm with xia_plend fallen_ragdoll
We went to Avenida, Recto, Quiapo.
La lang.. She just bought her things.
Bag, belts, doll shoes..
We had a great time!
really.
I missed her so much.

**********************

Most importantly, Patrick texted me. He asked for my help. He needed a vox for his band, then asked if xia_plend would like to be one. So I asked xia immediately if she's interested. God. Patrick's so00o mean. Kilala nia lang ako pag mei kelangan xa sken! bat ganon? If not for that dreaded band, he would not absolutely text me. I mean, duh.

Tinawagan ko pa nga xa eh. I mean, pinatawag nia pko. blah blah blah.

Pero ok lang. Ang kinatuwa ko eh he invited me in their gig. wait. time nko.



Comments would be much appreciated.

hahah! i feel great. Lam niu ba mga prenships, nagsumpaan kme ni moMsi [diane, my close pren]

sumpaan? diane? sa babae? eeww..

what i'm trying to say is, grabe. nag'promise kme nah dna nmen ittxt ang mga nagpagulo ng buhay nmen. ung mga ex nmen. talagang mega promise talaga. Babaw noh? pero kelangan eh. It's our way para makalimutan nah ang mga dapat kalimutan. kumbaga, we're ready for the healing process.

nakakasawa nah xe. nakakapagod. hai. sana magtuloy'tuloy nah toh.

mei balak nga koh SANA. gus2 qxa makausap sa fone. sabihen nia sken kung gano nia kamahal ung kirida nia. sbhen nia nren nah nklimutan nia nq talaga. nah he don't love me anymore. gus2 q lang marinig. para basag'basag nah. para maka'muv on nq.

pero sabe ni boleed bowleed_beware dapat wag koh na ipilet kung ayaw nia mkipag'usap.. mag'fFeeling nnmna daw un.. pati c xia_plendfallen_ragdoll ganun den cnabe..

which is tama naman. kea ngeOn i'm determined nah talaga to move on. 

dizizit mga prenships. tulungan nio koh. One sweet day, I'm just gonna laugh at this nightmare. I now decided to wake up. Wag niu nq hayaang mk2log ulet. tnx so much. ily all.

ainakoo.. meron na namnag kashetang ginawa sken ung ex kOh..

xa na nman?

yeah. adik yOn.. kala nia dq malalaman ah. xE gantO un.. nung isang araw, mei miscol ng miscol skEn.. unknown number. eh d tanong aq ng tanong chuva... gang sa knina. nagtxt un. e2 conversation nmen:

unknown: eloe!
nicole: eloe den!=) cno kb huh?  [nilagyan koh ng smiley para magreply xa]
u: c patrick toh. ibang cp gamet koh.
n: patrick ano? dacanay o villaruz?
u: villaruz
n: oic.. eloe pat.. kala koh kung cnu. nung isang araw pq tanong ng tanong kung cno kah.. heheh.. anyway, bago # mu?
u: deh.. nkitxt lang ako.
n: o ztah nah?
u: ok lang
n: mei klas kah?
u: meron, vacant koh.. Mahal mo pb q?
n: huh... teka c patrick kb?
u: oo. gulat kah noh bgla koh nagtanong ng ganon.
n: obvious bah.. ainakoo.. bket mu natanong?
u: bsta. anu?
n: d ako naniniwala nah c patrick kah. patunayan mu muna.
u: klasmeyt mko nung elem.
n: malamng. ainako0.. bala kah nga. nwei geh d nman ako bastos para dq saguten. tinatanong pb un? malamang. ata. bket bah?

tas dnxa nagreply. don plang nagduda nq. Unang'una, 4pm pah pasok ni patrick, panu nangyareng 11:30 eh vacant nia? secondly, ung way ng pagttxt nung kung cnumang yon, d ganon c trick. and most importantly, d ganon ugali ni trick. ung magtatanong ng ganon. That's way too impossible.. dxa ganon.

so aun. na'sense koh nah d ca pat un. tnxt koh let.

n: kung cnu kah man, epal kah. leche!
u: epal kdn!=)

o db? napaka'epal. tas narealyzd koh, ung # nah ginamet.. cp# ng mom nung haup kong ex! binura ko nah xe yOn.. tas bsta bgla koh naalala.

o db? shocking. ang pinagtataka koh lang. Bket interesado pxang malaman kung mahal ko nga talaga c trick? I mean. Duh. Masaya nxa sa kirida nia. [masaya na nga bah?] bket kelangan nia pah magpanggap ng ganon?

at eto pah ang siste. tnxt koh c patrick. I've asked him kung xa nga talaga un. sbe nia. d daw xa un. see? kea malakas talaga kutob koh. c BFX un.


                                                                                                 DUH.


i need your comments prenships.

nakakainis. 
tama bang itxt ako ng KERIDA ng haup koNg ex? 
To hell with her! 
She even had the guts? 
Ang kapal ah! 
D nah nahiya! Fuck. 




nadadama niu bah galet ko? Take note ah.. Nka'bold yan. Kaw bah nman itxt ng haup neOn? Leche. Epal talaga. EtO ung message nia ah:

Hi c lyka to. musta? =)

{This will be the last time that I will mention her name here. Anyone who will mention her fucking name will be... Uh.. Di na tayo bate! Aryt?}

O db? mei smiley pah. Leche xa!

Excuse me.

I am currently
Afflicted with the world's
number one crippler:
infatuation fixation parylysis,

commonly referred to as
love.

Any spare comfort
you have to give
would be most appreciated,
although my ability to receive
may be temporarily impaired.

thank you.

 

wahah.. ganda ba? that's from How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove et al.  Nagandahan lang ako. The minute I held the book, I were like "I need to buy this one." And then voila. I have my own copy nah! *smiles*

Nwei, tagal ko ng di nakaka'update ah.. Dame nah nangyare. Like nagkausap na nman kame ng beloved fucking ex koh.. [BFX], nah I've realized nah d pa pla ko nakaka'get over khit pano. Although sabe ko Mahala ko nah c Patrick, ngayon nalilito nnman ako. Really. hai... gusto koh ng makalimutan ung haup nah bfx kong yon! how i wished..

nwei, bout don sa tag thing ni idol nikka delicatinelity , her's my own list of songs that I'm currently into.

No ordinary Love - Jennifer Love Hewitt
Speechless - The Veronicas
Smile - Tamia
When the Last Teardrop Falls - Blaque
Breathe No more - Evanescence

ayan.. heHeh.. kung mei makakabasa man netO.. geh i tagged you!^_^

nga pala, i'm in need of prenships here. wawa naman ako. konte ng prenships koh d2 sa lj. Cnu mbait jan nah magbibigay ng prenships sken? anyone, plz?

Thank You.